What constitutes ‘Welcome’? – by Olin Sletto

LGBTQ and Ministry in the ELCA II

NOTE: The context and culture of a congregation will be a huge factor in how they are a welcoming group of people. This article is based on the experiences during the last decade at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Elgin, Illinois. We are an old congregation in the downtown area of a mid-sized city. These are ways in which we have worked at being welcoming to the visitors we find in our midst.

“How did you find us?”People looking for a congregation to call “home” no longer go to the Yellow Pages of the local telephone directory. Nor do they consult the religious section of the local newspaper.

When people are church shopping today, the first place they look is online. Having a web presence is critical for the congregation looking to draw in new members. It must present the congregation and its activities in an engaging way that reaches out to the user.

The vision and mission of the congregation should be presented in a welcoming way. The site should contain a “Welcome Statement,” information about the staff and what activities are available for all ages. If you are a “Reconciling in Christ,” congregation, open to welcoming all people, it is important to state that as well.

Our congregation became more welcoming and inclusive as they listened to the word preached in worship, which modeled this open welcome. Eventually it was time to act on our beliefs.

A proposed “Welcome Statement” was presented to the congregation council. It was a very inclusive statement, including welcoming people regardless of their sexual orientation. After a few minor changes, the statement was approved and sent to every member of the congregation to study. A Sunday morning forum was set to discuss the statement.

However, at the forum, held during the coffee hour, no one was discussing the statement at all. They were simply having coffee and catching up with each other as usual.

When I got their attention, I asked if we could discuss this statement “because it is important.” An elderly woman stood up and said, “Pastor, what is there to discuss? This is who we are and this is what we do.”

At the annual meeting, the statement was approved unanimously.

Now the congregation has taken an even more bold and faithful position. The congregation voted to perform civil union ceremonies in our church. We have created a liturgy for the occasion titled Celebration of Covenant.

“This is who we are, and this is what we do.” New members are feeling welcome and are joining as the congregation lives out its mission statement: Proclaiming Christ’s Love through Witness and Service.” The welcome statement is: “All are welcome in Jesus’ name! Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, as a community of the people of God, affirms its intention to openly welcome and value every person who walks through our doors regardless of age, race, gender identities, marital status, sexual orientations, national and ethnic origins, economic status, addiction, and mental, physical and emotional conditions.

“We affirm that we are all unique individuals created by God, in need of God’s forgiveness, and made worthy through Jesus Christ of God’s love and mercy. All persons named and unnamed above are welcome within the membership of our congregation upon making the same affirmation of faith that all members make.”

Our continual challenge is to live this out. This is how we do that.

The first experience
It has been said that a visitor will decide in the first few minutes whether this congregation has a chance with them or not. That initial engagement is therefore very important, so the congregation should plan how that will be a positive experience for the visitor.

Greeters in the parking lot are the first opportunity to say, “Glad you are here!” Then what happens at the door? The pastor and other members at the front door greeting people is reminiscent of how you would welcome people into your home. You greet them at the door. The same should happen at the door of the congregation. It is important that the pastor be a part of this welcome, to introduce visitors to the congregation, welcoming them and, if possible, walking with them into the sanctuary and introducing them to someone whom the pastor knows will take an interest in the visitors. This allows someone to be sure that the visitor can follow the service and know what is expected when taking communion. After the service, the visitor can be invited to coffee and fellowship which gives the members opportunity to introduce the visitors to more people.

Five times
A good goal is that a visitor should be welcomed five times: a welcome in the parking lot, one from the pastor, a greeter, the usher and a member in the pew makes up this “best practice.”

Seekers today want worship to include “icons,” such as candles, crosses, vestments, etc. At the same time, they do not want to hear “church-speak.” A worship style that has the entire service printed in the bulletin is far easier to follow than switching from bulletin to books to inserts. If everything, including the hymns, is printed in the bulletin, it makes a visitor feel very comfortable.

Invite as Jesus did—unconditionally
If a visitor is to feel truly welcome, there can be no restrictions on the invitation. Open communion, welcoming everyone to the Lord’s table without condition, has much to do with enhancing the sense of welcome. Unlike the disciples, who often felt their job was to protect Jesus from sharing God’s mercy with those who are unworthy, an open invitation to communion communicates that what is said is what is meant. All are welcome!

Let the children come
The participation and acceptance of children also speaks a word of welcome. The children’s sermon, when all of the children are invited to hear a message from the pastor, is a means of connecting with children and making them feel welcome.

There are many ways of doing a children’s sermon, with lots of helps to be found both in print and online. The simple use of an object, a lesson, and a prayer gets the children (AND the adults!) involved in hearing the gospel. For example, if the lesson is about “Jesus as the rock,” have a little rock to give each child. The prayer can be a teaching moment as well, as the pastor says short phrases that are repeated by the children and the congregation—everyone is learning how to pray.

Baptized children have all of the privileges of being a member of the body of Christ, including access to Holy Communion. If there are several children ready to take their first communion, a class full of fun and teaching can take place. A child can also be prepared one-on-one with the pastor. Receiving communion is based on “faith,” not on “knowledge,” and children have faith. For those not receiving communion, the simple gesture of offering a grape with the blessing gives the child a sense of being included and welcomed. With joy and a smile, they hold out their hands to receive grace, a simple grape. They are included, they are a part of the body.

The goal is to make worship “fun” and exciting for the children, something they want to experience. They will bring the parents.

Preach on the level of the congregation
Another aspect of worship that is important is to preach to the common person in the pew in an engaging and understandable way. This invites the people into the Word. An excellent resource for sermon preparation can be found in “Working Preacher” from Luther Seminary.

Another idea is to have a Moment of Review, a three- to four-minute “teaching moment” when the pastor can teach people some of the things we have forgotten or not thought about in a long time. Three minutes on each part of Luther’s Catechism is educational, and instructive. The short lesson that is taught, is printed out and inserted in the bulletin, for the people to take home, put under a refrigerator magnet, and think of during that week.

Next steps
While becoming a member of the congregation is the hope that goes with the welcome and invitation, visitors who have not been involved in a church for years—or ever—may feel very self-conscious and intimidated by the thought of commitment.

When the visitor feels comfortable enough to ask about church membership, they should not be frightened off by hoops to jump through to prove their worthiness such as: “Oh, you need to do six weeks of classes, and fill out a financial commitment form before you can become a part of our worshiping community.” Why not make it easy?

One should not need to be a member, to be treated like a member. Everyone should receive pastoral care. However, if the visitor wishes to become a member, make it as simple as possible. Jesus didn’t place conditions on following him. Rules, classes and pressure should not be necessary. Instead, continue to welcome these people and in a friendly way introduce them to the deeper level of involvement in the congregation. A luncheon provided by the congregation council to share the vision of the congregation and to get to know people better is a way to continue the welcome. Then invite them to become members. Once they are members, the congregation can nurture their faith and increase their knowledge of the church. The ultimate goal is to make it as simple as possible to join the congregation.

Other opportunities for welcome
Pastoral care to non-members is another way to reach out to new people. While it may not be possible in all congregations because of staff time constraints, it is an effective way to be visible in the community and to touch people who are in need of pastoral care. Many congregations will not serve people who are not active members in the congregation. Therefore, if your congregation does open itself up to serving others, there will be ample opportunity in the community for welcome and witness.

Non-member weddings: Young couples with no church affiliation who, nevertheless want to get married in a church, may make dozens of calls to churches looking for one that is open to a non-member wedding. When they finally find such a welcoming congregation, it may be that no one attending the wedding has ever heard of the congregation, but they have now. And even if the congregation does not see or hear from the couple whose wedding they performed, when they have children and want them baptized, they will return to the congregation that welcomed them in the first place.

Non-member funerals: When death occurs, a family is in grief and despair, and now for the first time, in maybe a long time, they think about the importance of God in their lives. This is a great opportunity for a congregation/pastor to bring comfort and the good news of God’s love and mercy to them. There may be dozens or even hundreds at a funeral, and the welcoming ministry of your congregation is lifted up and noticed.

Or what if the pastor is called by a local funeral home requesting a graveside service? The service is for a Chinese woman and the entire family is Buddhist. Should the pastor do a regular Christian service? Or should the pastor go to the web and download a Buddhist graveside service? Should the pastor follow the Apostle Paul’s suggestion that a few words that are understood are better than many words that are not understood? How far does the welcome go?

Or the pastor is called to give communion to a woman who is in hospice care. She is surrounded by her family and friends, and her full-time care giver who is from Tibet and is a Buddhist. Everyone gathers around the bed for communion. Should the care giver who has spent hours and hours being concerned for this person be excluded? Or should the pastor ask if she too would like to receive communion? Should the pastor explain what it means and invite her to come? How far does the welcome go?

Non-member baptisms: This is another opportunity to share God’s love with people, and to assure them that this love is for them. Maybe they will become members, maybe not. However, if this family ever needs pastoral care, they will return to the congregation that served them without condition.

Welcome through programs
The programs of a congregation are also tools of outreach. A Youth Group which includes friends of young members opens the opportunity for those friends and their families to become more involved in the congregation. A Vacation Bible School week which is open to the surrounding community gives the congregation greater exposure and provides assistance to families in the neighborhood.

The use of the congregation’s facility by outside groups is another way of serving the community and being visible within that community. Providing space for Alcoholics Anonymous, Kiwanis, Girl Scouts, Crisis Center, Grief Support, for example, makes the congregation known in the community as an open and welcoming entity.

A program for the elderly also can bring in new people. This can be held once a month. Composed of a short worship service with open communion, then lunch and games, this time brings a sense of “family” to many people who are otherwise alone. Knowing that you can always bring a friend helps to expand the community.

The congregation should be aware of and looking for other ways and needs in the community by which they can be known as a welcoming and accessible place. This may include a food pantry, a back-to-school pancake breakfast, a winter coat drive for children without coats, hosting a Habitat for Humanity group of college students, or any number of other opportunities. It all depends on what is needed in the community.

Conclusion

I was raised on a ranch in central South Dakota. When it was time, my father, brothers and I got on our horses to bring in the herd of cattle. We rode behind the herd, shouting, cracking the whip, and driving the cattle in the direction we wanted them to go.

Compare that to the lesson I learned during 15 years working with the church in Africa. I observed the nomadic Mbororo people with their herds of cattle and flocks of sheep. Unlike my experience on the ranch, the Mbororo herder walked in front of the herd and called the herd by name to follow.

As pastors, we have the choice of being a “herder” or a “shepherd.” We can either get behind our congregation and scream and crack the whip, driving them in the direction we want them to go. Or, we can walk ahead of the congregation, calling them to follow. Rather than hearing, “You go do it,” the congregation hears, “Come, let us go and do it together.”

Welcoming congregations are not created. They are birthed. Most certainly, the pastor plays the role of mid-wife in this birthing process. The question is always relevant: How far does your welcome go?