Gender-Based Violence: Swept Under the Rug No More – by Nicole Ashwood
Read Jhanderys Dotel’s Essay, “Child Sexual Abuse and Trafficking: The Challenge to the Church”
Read Sadekie Lyttle-Forbes’ Essay, “No More Secrets”
Read Margaret Fowler’s Essay, “We Must Not Keep Silent”
Read Elisha James’ Essay, “The Church’s Response to Sexual Traumas”
In the months and weeks following the decision to contribute to the fall schedule of ecclesio.com and the selection of the week’s theme, it is as though the elements ALL around the Caribbean region, and in particular in Jamaica, have been conspiring to ensure that Gender-based Violence and sexual trauma do not get swept under the carpet like many other explosive issues have over the passage of time.
For, in the past 6 weeks we have been having unprecedented numbers of cases of violence dismantling our collective apathy and conspiracy of silence and tacit surrender. We think of 4 pregnant women being gunned down, outlandish cases of incest and – by far the one which rocked the nation with its gruesomeness – FIVE females from ONE family, ranging from AGE 8 through 28, being repeatedly raped by gunmen who took them out of their homes and assaulted them in nearby bushes. We are a region in trauma!
Responses have varied – we have condemned, politicized, criticized, finger-pointed, castigated and mourned. We mourned the loss of morals, the death of innocence and of the women. We have had (literal) manhunts for supposed sodomizers, we have offered counselling to the entire family/ies, but we have been somewhat silent in claiming collective responsibility for these reprehensible acts. And the derisive castigation of the church has resumed, for it is felt that we have been too silent on matters of such grave importance to the life of the nation.
It is perhaps justified, for Jamaica boasts the most Christian edifices and temples per square mile in the inhabited world, and yet we (the Church) have not been heard speaking out on issues such as sexual abuse and the ensuing trauma. And we have been increasingly reticent to respond on matters related to sexual violence. But silence does not necessarily mean assent or approval of wrongdoing. Nor does it always signal inaction.
There are church leaders who sit on civil committees seeking to exact policy changes where organized church is unable to act or speak. Pastors and lay persons have been providing support for victims and families of sexual abuse. A few have been public with their outcry in local, national, and international forums – participating in rallies, marches, consultations etc. – with the aim of reducing cases of sexual harassment, violence and degradation in the countries/spaces where they operate. There are those who work with centres and outreach organisations, giving of their time and talents (often voluntarily) to those in need. Yes, we are responding, albeit belatedly . . .
This week’s contributors represent members of the local and regional church, both laypeople and ordained ministers. They speak for themselves and others with a passion which underscores their commitment to making a change. The issues which they cover urge us to wake up, and act. They challenge our notion that the church does not care, and invite us to join them in advocacy, awareness and prevention. Who would expect a minister to scour bars and nightclubs in an effort to save teenagers and young adults from the ill-effects of Sexually Transmitted Diseases? To whom does one turn when adolescent and pregnant with a man who may not be in a position to provide emotional, educational or psychological help after one is obliged to drop out of school? Where does one turn when one needs up-to-date information and discreet counselling on matters of Child Sexual Awareness, Abuse and Prevention? Some of these contributors have worked in the trenches, and, while speaking with of academic authority, also speak from the perspective of those in the know. In the words of Rev Dr Margaret Fowler, they are not keeping silence and neither should we.
Many of us have been frightened into silence, or have convinced ourselves that it is only ‘bad people’ (or bad girls in particular) who find themselves in situations of abuse. But Elisha James reminds us that this is scarcely ever the case. In fact, should we spend a moment to discern the person’s story, we may find that the ‘bad girl’ is actually trying to find self-worth once again or trying to balance her economics in a season of scarcity as indicated by Margaret Fowler. Sadikie Lyttle-Forbes insists that we must unveil sexual abuse within the context of home and offers a practical response to incest and statutory rape. In her summation of the reality of childhood sexual abuse, Jhanderys Dotel argues for openness and honesty by the Dominican church. Can we remain uninvolved? I hope not.
Every year, the world pauses to reflect and rededicate ourselves to the cause of those who have suffered and survived Gender-Based Violence through 16 Days of Activism (Nov 25 – December 10). I urge us to consider some of the ways in which we might be part of this event in our own communities – school, home, work and even play. As we prayerfully ponder our own involvement, let us be honest about our complicity in perpetuating sexual trauma.
Then let us consider offering our churches as legitimate safe spaces of healing and wholeness to those impacted by the cycle of sexual abuse – predators, first offenders, victims, survivors and families. Our safe spaces may include provision of homes for those who MUST seek asylum, assisting with material and economic support for the same, or offering a non-judgemental, healing ear to those whose lives are troubled subsequent to involvement in sexual trauma – for we know that violence begets violence. We may agitate for legislation to change, stage marches, offer awareness campaigns, or even opt to participate in writing (Bible) studies or worship services; but we cannot remain unaware or uninvolved
The prayer service included in today’s editorial is one way of calling the community together as we accept corporate responsibility and guilt for the abuse and rape of innocents, moving toward healing and hope. As we pause to lament, may our cries touch the heavens, empowering ourselves and other into becoming critical agents of abundant life through Christ who invites us simply to be.
Lord, change our minds and help us to be open to your soft and gentle nudge for transformation in these times. Use us to release those who are captive and fit us anew for your service. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
Advocating for an end to sexual trauma – will you join us?
Prayer service in response to the spate of sexual abuse in the land…
CANTOR
Senzenina, senzenina!
Senzenina, senzenina!
Senzenina
Senzenina, senzenina!
Senzenina, senzenina!
What have we done! What have we done?
what have we done, what have we done!
What have we done!
What have we done! What have we done?
what have we done, what have we done!
{Pictures of persons impacted by the acts of sexual abuse are posted with a candle before each. Participants are invited to write prayers and words of comfort to be sent to the families of the victimized.}
Reading: St Matthew 2:13 – 23
Prayers of Repentance
LEADER:
In this tragic season we pause to pray for our nation and for those who have been affected by these brutal acts.
Lord we have lost our ability to feel with and for our sisters and brothers caught in the cycle of violence and misappropriated power. We have not cared enough for our brothers and sisters who have been gunned down, discriminated against, abused, raped, and victimized. We have sinned Lord, for the absence of the Word or the Deed that helps us find our humanity as a nation, our unity as a people and our value for relationships over the lure of existentiality.
(Candle is lit)
Senzenina
Constantly victimized, we have become anaesthetized, de-sensitized, and de-humanized when we batten our windows and doors; our mind and our hearts our very essence to avoid the cries of the mothers and fathers in anguish as they search for normalcy as they scour the streets of life for their lost children, lost as a result of our sense of self-preservation and ever-burgeoning apathy. (Candle is lit)
Senzenina
And as the problem becomes a pandemic, growing out of all possible conceivable proportions, we repent once again for forgetting your call to offer ABUNDANT LIFE to one and all. Help us Lord to be repairers of the breach, restorers of your healing presence to a land that is sadly moving further and further away from you. (Candle is lit)
Lord’s Prayer – Spiritual (Refrain – And if yuh sin condemn yuh soul – you must pray)
Act of Pardon
LEADER:
When the land would yield no fruit in Israel and the waters were stagnant, we are told that the prophet Elisha took salt in a new bowl and poured same into the waters and the land and waters were healed. Let us now receive our healing and forgiveness…
(A fresh container of salt is opened and some poured outside of the building. Participants are invited to each take a pinch of salt and the entire community declares).
Today we are poured out afresh as salt with savour, into this land to restore life and healing to the unsavoury waters. Christ has made us free in his resurrection power. We receive his healing grace and share it with the world.
Prayers for those Impacted by Sexual Abuse
LEADER:
We continue in prayer for the survivors, the victims, the grieving and hurting families.
CANTOR/CHOIR
Lord Listen to your Children praying
Lord we need your Spirit in this place
Lord listen to your children praying
Send us love, send us power
Send us grace
{Two or three prayers are offered from the congregation on behalf of those who are impacted… followed by the chorus.}
Lord Listen to your Children praying
Lord we need your Spirit in this place
Lord listen to your children praying
Send us love, send us power
Send us grace
Dance … Father God Help or Black Mother Prays
Prayers for the perpetrators of abuse
Even while our hearts break from the impact of the acts of sexual abuse, we recognize that something is broken in the souls of those who would hurt, threaten and abuse our sons, daughters, husbands and wives.
Where there is genuine repentance, we ask for your gracious forgiveness. For you promised that you would return for even ONE who is lost and in need of you. Lord, we hear ourselves pleading for justice to the full extent of the law, yet we recognize that even these are your children also. Let there be a heart transplant, dear Jesus; transform the stone of depravity into a confessing, living breathing heart of flesh. Help the wrongdoers to recognize their wrong and seek your face as you heal our land and return us to you. Lord have mercy we pray. In Jesus name. Amen.
CALL to ACTION/Reflection on past events.
Prayers of Hope and Reconciliation (Hear my Cry O Lord or Unto Thee O Lord do I Lift up my Soul)
In you dear Lord, we place our trust. In you alone O Christ can we find healing. We lift our hearts and lives to you once again O Rock of our Salvation, and look to you to guide us in Your peace. Help us to remember that all things work together for good and that in spite of this season of bleakness, your grace will carry us through. Help us to carry the cross we have been given to bear with confidence and peace. Be our strength in troubling times such as these and guide our thoughts in the paths of peace and love. Mighty God, Prince of Peace, your eternity of justice and shalom is what we seek right here right now. We look to You, who See us in the wilderness to be our Living water in the parched places of our lives. We thank you for providing a way in the desert and look to you our guide for being the solution. Help us to be agents of reconciliation and love we pray as we forgive and seek forgiveness for sins past (and not yet committed). Restore us into your fold we pray, in Jesus name.
Amen
Sending Hymn “In Christ Alone” or “I’m Gonna Live So God Can Use Me”
Benediction
Read Jhanderys Dotel’s Essay, “Child Sexual Abuse and Trafficking: The Challenge to the Church”
Read Sadekie Lyttle-Forbes’ Essay, “No More Secrets”
Read Margaret Fowler’s Essay, “We Must Not Keep Silent”
Read Elisha James’ Essay, “The Church’s Response to Sexual Traumas”
Rev Nicole Ashwood is an ordained minister with the United Church in Jamaica & the Cayman Islands. Currently seconded to the Caribbean & North America Council for Mission as the Education in Mission Secretary, where she helps to translate the elements of our daily routine to acts of ministry ad mission for those in need of partnering relationships.
Passionate about Gender Advocacy and Liturgy, she has collaborated with the World Communion of Reformed Churches for their Uniting General Council (part of the Worship Planning Team) and has worked jointly with the WCRC and World Council of Churches ‘Transforming Masculinities’ project. As a result of the workshops she has contributed articles to the Two major transformingmasculinity manuals. In 2011, Rev Ashwood served as a member of the Local Planning Team for the Internationl Ecumenical Peace Convocation in Kingston Jamaica.
As a Mover for Gender Justice, (WCC), she is involved in training for gender justice in the Caribbean region. She was also a member of the Planning and Writing Team for the landmark 2011 publication of a Caribbean Women’s Bible Study Manual.