Living in Christ, Living with Gluten Allergies – Nicole Ashwood

As a Caribbean national, in particular a tried and true Jamaican, I have always been familiar with the expression – “Half of your life gone!”  It was a somewhat extreme way of establishing that an experience or meal was so great that not being able to enjoy it was actually living with great deprivation.  Not many would agree that I qualify as a ‘Foodie’, but most would safely say that I love my food.  Allergic to the kitchen though I may be, I must have my food.  Among my top ten are pork (almost ANY variation), shellfish, Roti, Chinese dishes, dumplings and desserts (inclusive of Jamaican patties, Trini snacks and coconut macaroons).  Imagine my surprise therefore to discover that I was allergic to GLUTEN and Wheat-based products!  Truly I felt like half my life was gone!

It all began with a promise to God, based on Daniel 1.  I covenanted to abstain from rice and flour for the ENTIRE three years of seminary in the US, in exchange of wisdom to complete the course.  Little did I know what that would mean for me on a very practical note.  Wisdom came through the special friendships forged at points, when like Jesus I bellowed, “My God, My God why have you forsaken me?!”  I recall that for three months I had been ostracized for a comment I did not realize was taboo, and after a very long and frank discussion with God, advising that I really appreciated God’s closeness to me, HOWEVER I felt it was time for human contact, a senior walked up to me the next day to advise me that I needed to clean up my act if I wished to survive in that context.  Truly, there was no amount of rice or flour that would have valued more than the advice which saved me from going under!  I remember thanking God for coming through and being even more committed to my partial fast.

In making the covenant with God, I was blissfully unaware that my body no longer had a tolerance to anything which had gluten or flour and that it was perhaps not so much a fast that I had embarked upon, but that God was saving me from myself.    After an extra year of studies in Switzerland, I returned home to Jamaica ready to gormandize ALL my favourites which were readily and alluringly available to me in Jamaica!  Oh the bliss!  It was like being a child with unlimited credit entering her favourite toy store.  I indulged!  But, after about a year, I realized that bread was having a negative effect on me – so I switched to whole wheat aka Brown bread.

As the associate pastor at the church to which I was assigned, part of my duties included being present at the breakfast programme for the indigent which we organized twice weekly.  One Wednesday after Bible studies, one of my seniors brought me dinner and I realized with dismay that it contained dumplings which had gone the way of bread to my system.  However, upon recalling that I could refry it in the morning, I comforted myself, said some serious prayers and took it with me to include in my meal at Thursday morning breakfast.  Thursday’s menu was Brown bread with Fritters (a batter of cod-fish and fresh seasoning fried) and eggs.  I smiled to myself, opened with devotions, chatted with a few regulars and made a mini-nuisance of myself in the kitchen as I had my dumpling fried and made a sandwich of the fritters, dumpling between the brown slices of bread.

No sooner had I taken the first bite when I felt something pull from the very depths of my body!  I had an instantaneous reaction to the excessive amounts of gluten in my body! Even the guests rushed to ‘paasta’ assistance!  My serving ladies were frantic!  I recovered enough to assure them that I would be fine and painfully forfeited my super-breakfast.  However by evening, the problem revealed its real nature as not only had my digestive system been compromised, but the inner-lining of my throat had swollen to the point of an occasional croak! A season of prayer led me to a quick conclusion – that subsequent to my covenant with God, I had also developed a wheat allergy of some kind.  Persistence and research paid off, I was able to place a name to this food adventure on which I had now embarked – celiac disease. I also realized that Diverticulitis, which stole my grandfather from us in 1997, was a possible by-product of Celiac disease.

Stunned and forced to re-evaluate my life choices I heard snippets of two texts in my subconscious – 1 Corinthians 6:13a ‘Meats for the belly and the belly for the meat, but the Lord will have no part in it’ and  Romans 6:12, ‘…let sin no longer reign in your mortal body so you will not consume the lusts thereof’.  On one level, I was aware that neither text had bearing on MY condition, but yet, the verses continue to give me several moment’s pause as I grapple with the daily exercise of giving up my favourite foods for the sake of my own physical well-being.   They still have the power to insist that I look beyond the physical limitations of gluten intolerance to the other dimensions of this lifestyle.

For you see each time I think on meats for the belly, I thank God first of all that as a non-Adventist, pork and shellfish remain part of my eating lifestyle. But I usually find myself substituting the concept of flour and other gluten-related cravings which my brain perceived as must-haves for my life, which I have willingly forfeited, not only for covenant purposes, but also for my health.  And usually, in very short shrift, my brain says there’s a sermon in your experience somewhere . . . and it has to do with letting sin not reign in the mortal body.

What I found when I allowed my mind to begin to process the connections was that I cannot allow my cravings to lead me down the path of my own destruction.  That came home to me very realistically when I deliberately asked a pharmacist to provide me with anti-histamines in order that I might indulge in my favourite Trini-snacks on my first visit.  My throat did not get swollen, so I figured all was well.  But, there is no cure for the destruction of my stomach villi, and for the rest of my stay, digestion became an onerous burden.  It dawned on me that when we live with Christ and knowingly walk the path of that which displeases God, we do immediately not die, but we MUST deal with the consequences.  It could be as simple as ‘loving our neighbour’.  We may ignore initial reactions, but the fruit of Unforgiveness or hatred often carry long term effects which disrupt our relations in the Body of Christ.

In being rendered both Gluten-intolerant (my stomach does not filter foods correctly) and Gluten allergic (my throat muscles get swollen trying to remove the effects of the glutenated irritant from descending to my stomach); I have learned to recognize the symptoms of unintentional-glutenation within 20 minutes of ingesting.  Yet I opt to live without an EPI pen, and I don’t always have anti-histamines on my person.  I have become immediate ‘friends’ with restaurant and kitchen staff wherever I go.  I take my celiac condition very seriously.  I share my status with others, whether they wish to hear or not, as it protects me from being sick.  Additionally, I have found that I have been reading more – labels on food, hair and even hygiene products.  This is critical if I am to avoid unintentional contamination which leads to sometimes two weeks of queasiness which sometimes can be very embarrassing.

Yet, as a Christian, I am not always as careful to guard myself from the sins which so easily beset me.  As with the instances when I succumb to gluten-filled foods and convince myself, it’s just a little bit – I can handle what comes next; there are times when I KNOW that my actions are displeasing to God.  A little white lie here, a crushing word that tears down there, a convenient obliviousness to God’s desire for me in situations where someone dies for the knowledge of a God who is real and involved in their personal situations.  I am not always as careful to read the labels to ensure that that which I ingest will not have the deadly side-effects which accompany sin.  And when there is need for truth and compassion in life and death situations, I am not always befriending the ‘people who count’ to ensure that God’s justice is served in healthy and life-enhancing portions.

Of course, it isn’t always like that, and living a gluten-free life does have its rewards (I’m told that it even results in weight loss; yeah right – my weight continues to fluctuate!!!) and its fun moments.  I have come to terms with the fact that it’s something I live with regardless of others’ opinions and I make the necessary adjustments MOST of the time.  So too with my life in Christ;   recognize that Christianity has its present-life rewards (I hear about the after-life, but I am realistic enough to say I enjoy the Now benefits even as I await the eternal perks) and several fun moments.  I consciously decided to make Christ my life priority and that has kept me going when many others have not.  I am living in Christ as I live with gluten-intolerance and gluten allergies …

What about you – have you been grappling with your life in Christ?  How do you respond to life’s terminal challenges?

Nicqi Ashwood is an ordained minister who tries to connect faith to reality in very practical ways.  She still grapples with food cravings that threaten her health.