Roles Change as Life Changes in Campus Ministry – by Kally Elliott

I’ve been doing this campus ministry gig now for nine years. While I know nine years is no record, I do think nine years is longer than most people stay in campus ministry.

Obviously I enjoy being a campus minister or I would have gotten out of this business a long time ago. I love the freedom to be goofy, to wear jeans and a sweatshirt to work, to see students on a daily basis and really get to know them. Journeying with students from the time they are timid freshmen straight out of mama and daddy’s church to the time of graduation when they are no longer afraid to ask questions about their faith or to think outside the box is life giving to me. Watching students grow and mature in their faith is the primary reason I love campus ministry.

And to be totally honest with you, another reason I love campus ministry is the endless pool of babysitters from which I have to pick because, along with being a campus minister, I’m also a mom of four young kids.

I didn’t have all these kids when I was hired to be a campus minister. When I was called to this position I came with one and a half kids. My son, Rylan was 17 months and I was pregnant with my second son, Spencer. And that was okay. I was 28 years old, slightly fashionable, and could pull off the “cool campus minister” effect. Sometimes I got mistaken as “one of the students” and I secretly rejoiced inside every time this happened. Students wanted to hang out with me. They sought me out to go to lunch or coffee. They told me their boyfriend or girlfriend woes. They treated me as one of their own. I often had to consciously draw boundary lines so that the role of “minister” did not get confused with that of “friend”.

These days: two and a half kids, several gray hairs, a few age spots, and some wrinkles around the eyes later I’m pretty sure my status as “cool campus minister” has evolved (devolved?) to that of “lady with too many kids who looks tired all the time but seems to be in charge of the campus ministry”. Okay, so maybe I’m being a little over dramatic but that’s how it feels some days. I’m starting to think my status has changed from “cool campus minister” to “Ministry Mom”.

It was the way students would walk off instead of waiting for me while I locked up the church van on our mission trip that drove home to me the way the students perceive me has changed. In past years while I’d facilitated trips, students still treated me as one of the group. They’d wait for me, save a seat for me, etc. This year I was definitely the mom or the driver of the group. This is a minor thing but it spoke volumes to me about how the students now perceive me as “Mom” or “Chaperone”.

This has taken some getting used to. Honestly I didn’t like it at first and my feelings were a little raw. I think it was something I’ve known for awhile but came face to face with on the mission trip. After the trip I began to realize that while students still come to me to talk it’s changed from simply wanting to hang out to purposefully seeking advice from me. I’m the person they go to after they’ve gone to all their friends but before they go to their own parents.

And I’ve changed too. Besides the wrinkles and minivan full of offspring, I don’t have as much energy for late night coffee runs. The whole boyfriend/girlfriend drama bores me sometimes. Praying that students will make it through finals and papers seems a little trite when there are people living on the street a block away. But then a student comes to me with a deep and wondering question and I get to sit with her as she struggles with a faith that is being cracked open and ultimately strengthened. Or I get to process the decision to become a teacher instead of a banker with a student who is in the midst of discerning God’s call in his life. And I get it.

My role has changed. I have more experience in life now. I have more insight, depth, and strength than I had back when I was “cool”. I keep getting older while the students stay the same age they’ve always been and if I want to stay relevant in this campus ministry gig then I have to readjust how I do campus ministry and my role in the lives of the students.

I have not yet figured out exactly how to do this. I’m trying out different ideas and seeing what seems to work. Another great thing about campus ministry? If you try something one year and it fails, you get to start over the next year! Each year is a new year, a chance to start fresh.

This last year I tried a couple new things. Some worked, some didn’t.

One of the things I tried was hiring a part-time graduate student intern to help with the relational and face to face time with students. I thought with her doing most of the face-to-face time it would free me up to do other things that need to get done. This idea both worked and didn’t work. While the students seemed to really enjoy the company and guidance of my intern, I missed my face-to-face time with students! While I was freed up to do many of the things I’ve thought I wanted to do, I came to the realization that the relational aspect of this ministry is what I really enjoy! This next year I will once again be focusing on face-to-face time with students rather than administrative tasks.

Another thing I did this year that changed my role was to take on a building project. (Those of you scraping by in campus ministry are probably wondering where the money came from to do a building project and hire a grad student intern. One of our supporting churches received a large amount of money that they were supposed to use for evangelism. Since campus ministry definitely falls under the category of evangelism I applied for some of this money and received it.) Taking on a building project was exciting from the aspect that it was a new challenge and I learned a lot in the process however, I now know that I never ever ever ever want to be in charge of building and grounds. I’m proud of the work that was accomplished but I’m also glad that it is over.

As I get older and get further away in age from college students I’m thankful to have the opportunity to work with them, to learn from them, and sometimes to teach them. I’m sure I’ll continue to struggle with my role as campus minister but the struggle is what makes us stay relevant. If we stop struggling then perhaps we’ve given up.

May we campus ministers continue to struggle, to change, to adapt, to roll with the punches, to learn new ways of working with and for college students. May we continue to journey with students as their faith is cracked open and deepened and may those same students challenge us to keep growing and strengthening the ministry with which we’ve been entrusted.

Bio note from Kally Elliott: I grew up in San Diego and went to college at UC Davis but somehow ended up in Tennessee. I went to seminary at Columbia Theological Seminary and am still serving in my first call at the Presbyterian Campus Ministry at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville I’m married to Bryce and have four kids, Rylan (age 10), Spencer (age 8), Kellen (age 5) and Eve (age 17 months). I enjoy working out, hanging out with friends, and the rare moments my kids are behaving.