Power, Privilege, and Mary’s Yes – Rev. Irene Pak

“For nothing will be impossible with God. Then Mary said, ‘Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’” (Luke 1:37-38)

Mary’s “yes” never ceases to amaze me every Advent season.

As I re-read the story of the angel coming to Mary and telling her not to be afraid and that she has found favor with God, I cannot help but scoff. How in the world is telling an unwed teenage girl that she is going to get pregnant with God’s baby good news?  Why would you tell her not to be afraid in a moment that is terrifying? How is this a favor? Then take into consideration the cultural context and time this takes place and this news is worse. And let’s keep it real, this would not necessarily be welcome news to an unwed teenage girl even in our cultural context and time. Throw in the fact that it’s God’s baby and you might have bigger problems.

But the part that amazes me is her yes. It’s HER yes. She hears this news and asks questions and although her response seems immediate, who knows? She might have had time to process and then answer the angel. What we do know is that when she responds, she does so with her own agency. She might not understand the full implication of everything, but she is willing to take on the responsibility of what it all means. In her society and in her family, this means she will lose even more power and agency (and she does not have much to begin with). It means she will most likely lose the privileges of what it meant to be female in that time—which is having her own family, which equated to safety, stability, and life. What was she thinking?

Right before she says yes, the angel tells her, “Nothing will be impossible with God.”

As a Korean American Presbyterian girl growing up in Utah, I did not grow up feeling a strong sense of power and privilege. In fact, I always felt disempowered, shy, and afraid, and was reminded on a regular basis the ways in which I was not part of the privileged majority around me. Being surrounded by a culture where my Asian-ness was an oddity made me feel like I would never fit in unless my eyes rounded out more and turned blue. Realizing this would never happen made me feel more powerless. Top it off with the fact that I was a Presbyterian, and I just could not connect for the longest time with my peers.

And then, like Mary (no, no angel appeared to me to tell me I was going to have God’s baby), God did stir a movement in my heart and mind as a teenager, and called me to be a pastor. I scoffed. Pastors were men. They were old. They were super holy. I was none of those things.  I realize now that I did not give God an answer at that first stirring. I just could not envision someone like me in the role of a minister. It was so far-fetched in my mind that I just scoffed, laughed it off, and moved on.

A couple years later, at a whopping 16 years old, God called again.

And another 16+ years later, this Korean American woman who grew up in Utah, who scoffed at God’s first calling, is now serving as a Teaching Elder in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.). Eventually, I said YES. To be honest, it was really more like, “Okay…”

It took many more years after that “okay” that I began feeling empowered and courageous to live fully into who I was being called to be. And now, every day I serve, I can boldly proclaim that it is MY yes to respond to this calling to which I have been called.

You see, my Advent came the first time I could hear the word “pastor” and not automatically envision an older white man. The first time I heard the word “pastor” and envisioned an Asian woman was an advent where I knew something in my own life and paradigm shifted. It meant that there was not only one script or reality surrounding me anymore. Now lest you think I did this all on my own, I did not. It was a community that surrounded me from the beginning that nurtured and lifted me—it was meeting other clergywomen who had paved paths ahead of me—it was their “yes” that helped my “yes” to become louder and stronger. It was seeing them lead and in roles where they could be seen and heard that gave me agency.

Mary’s yes, it turns out, ends up being something that strengthens her and provides her with honor. It is Mary’s yes that gives space to young girls to know that they have agency to ask questions of God and to respond to God.

And so, every Advent season, I read this portion of the story. I scoff. I think, “How can this be good news?” And then I remember it was her choice, her yes. And because of the choice she made, an entire world order and paradigm shifted so that Immanuel, God with us, would arrive in the most vulnerable and powerless state to be a power and a grace that all of us would need.

May the “yes” we proclaim in this season be one that subverts paradigms and discomforts us, so that even as we scoff, we may be reminded that nothing is impossible with God.

The Rev. Irene Pak was born and raised in the wild west of Ogden, Utah. She is a cradle Presbyterian and graduated with her M.Div. at McCormick Theological Seminary in Chicago. She served as an intern for racial justice and advocacy at the Presbyterian Center in Louisville in 2007 and is particularly passionate about racial justice issues. Irene served for four years as an Associate Pastor of English Ministries and Christian Education at Daesung Korean Presbyterian Church in Sunnyvale, CA and is currently serving as the Associate Pastor at Stone Church of Willow Glen in San Jose, CA. She loves to read, play music, cook, exercise, and eat good food.