Concierge Ministry – Tara Spuhler McCabe
What is concierge ministry? Consider placing a broad ministerial lens onto this definition: A concierge is an employee of an apartment building, hotel or office building who serves guests, with duties similar to those of a receptionist.
Over the past three years, I have had a growing agitation around responses from people who say, “Wow, you’re a minister! If I knew there were ministers like you maybe I would come to church.” I want to shout, COME! And I do, sometimes, but I usually say, there are tons of ministers like me. For a while I was never really sure what it is that they are drawn to in the phrase, “more ministers like you”. So I finally started asking. The deeper responses were, “you are so normal (as most of us are) or you really care about what you do (as most of us do) or even deeper, I have just never been around something (like a wedding or funeral) where it is so religious and so personal.” Ugh! And Wow!
I hear and see more often a profound appreciation for Christianity at this intersection of being religious and very personal with others who are not in our churches. All I know is Presbyterian ministry, from an urban context. And if that comes off as personal and religious to some folks outside of our church buildings, I think that is where some of us church folk need to be. I have found myself deeply motivated to go to these spaces and gaps outside of the congregations. For me, I have taken on a bolder approach in my calling as a pastor/minister. I explain and integrate my profession a lot more within the practicalities of living in my local community. This is not anything brilliantly unique. What it has been, though, is incredibly revealing in the intersections of being spiritual vs. being religious or being Christian vs. a “none”. I am more convinced in how deeply “we” are wanted and welcomed outside of the congregation.
Maybe, the welcome is coming from some generations who are exhausted from shock and anger of hypocrisy within Christianity. Maybe the welcome is from that space that is very sacred, and now they yearn but cannot ask for help as there is too much emotional distance from church. There are multiple variables that I think have opened some people to a deep and personal relationship in faith, AND to a continuing unwillingness to come into our churches. Even as we strive to welcome everyone, they are not coming. As someone pointed out to me recently, the call can be where you are being invited. I have found myself invited, as a minister, to be in many places of brokenness and hope. Again, I know this is not something unique – but this is out of my norm, which was serving a congregation for 12 years. However, within our constitutional ordination vows, we agree to minister to the people in the body of Christ…
What I am struck with, is aside from congregations hiring Evangelists or Street Ministers, is a question: can our denomination, presbyteries, and congregations consider roles and responsibilities that foster religious and spiritual wholeness for others, including people who may never walk into our buildings?
I would love to be the Evangelist that brings one or all back into the church. However, I am truly amazed at the “on the ground” theology happening with folks who would never think to open up about faith unless they were in the church. I have found myself challenged and fed with “concierge ministry”: serving God as I meet the needs of folks who are just trying to get back to God.
This week is a kaleidoscope of colleagues in ministry I have encountered in “concierge ministry”. Tuesday is Denise Anderson and HOT. This worshipping community is in a congregation but set apart in some profound ways. They are brand new to themselves and to the elders who have raised them. With Denise, they are taking on a new level of Theology that was not passed onto them. I see this particular community and how they evolve to be vital for the face of Christianity just because they are motivated to be anew.
Wednesday is a discussion with a “mama warrior”. I gave her that title. Out of standard mom, PTA, and church stuff, my neighbor is a community leader and budding organizer with or without her congregation. But she is deeply addressing brokenness in our community for the life of Christ. We found each other at PTA, not at church.
Thursday I welcome the voice of a Quaker, Micah Bales. He is part of a band of leaders I met in OccupyDC and OccupyFaithDC. Sitting around him and others, I quickly learned I had no clue what to do as a pastor in Occupy. With Micah and others, I offer my time with Occupy was some of the best pastoral ministry presence I have engaged in for a long while.
Friday I welcome Funshine Daycare and Preschool. They are a private/secular daycare renting space from a Presbyterian Church. The community of Funshine is amazing in how the co-directors live out their hearts in their business for kids, families, and for their staff. The staff of Funshine are Christian, Muslim and everything in between. There is no doubt they do what they do out of faith!
I offer two experiences in my years of concierge ministry. Two years ago a previous boss for my husband died suddenly. The company was completely caught off guard. And family was not local. The relationship with this former boss was beloved and complicated, just like church. A colleague asked my husband if helping them and the family with all of the complications would be something I could do. The next two weeks I met with bewildered family members not knowing the depth of their brother’s brokenness and holding hands with work colleagues who loved him deeply and knew they could not fix him. With great humility, I was grateful to be present with this community. Comments were offered about how personal and religious the funeral was or how well I offered language to such a painful loss. I found myself humbled but also agitated. Why are folks not getting to funerals that are religious and personal? Transcendent language in the midst of hurt – this is our job! As others may say what I do is amazing, I say: this is what we do and personally, from my denomination, we do articulation of resurrection out of death really, really well! But if we are not with them, they don’t/won’t hear it!
Another sudden death in our community happened in October. An assistant to our local elementary school died. Kids knew her as “Grandma”. She barked at adults who did not move it along in dropping off kids and made sure kids had their raincoats, boots, gloves and jackets. She was an aide on the playground and the cafeteria, chaordia (chaos, order, mania) time! She also reared 3 grandchildren while parents were often not able to be home. Again, a complicated situation. The Vice Principal and Principal put the family in contact with me. Together, we put together rituals of remembrance and a graveside service for all ages. In all of the discussions, I was struck with the profound need to help parents along as they might support their kids through a first-time loss. There was an assumption with some that kids should not be at the graveside. Or how might they approach the viewing with their kids. This is nothing we would not experience within our own congregations but the usual leaders, the teachers, were grieving as well. All generations, each level of relationships, deserved to honor who they loved and lost, and find a path of reconciliation or peace. I came into this role for the community out of that great Presbyterian Christian Education Formation background. The graveside services had an invitation for all ages to participate. The children were amazing as they took over in the ritual of ashes to ashes and dust to dust. The cemetery director informed me that he had never seen so many children involved in a service before and how essential that is. Again, I was agitated. Just in the fact that if this is not done, “we” the highly trained church folk are missing it! And if this is done, more people need to know it!
We know we are in a changing reality of how we are to be church, how we are to do church, or how we are to have church. These questions are asked and processed over and over again. This week, we offer some nuances within these questions and changing realities. Our hope is that you see how constant the church of Christ is while also being agitated or nudged just enough to participate in concierge ministry!
Rev. Tara Spuhler McCabe is a Minister Member at Large in the National Capitol Presbytery (metro Washington DC area). She served at New York Avenue Presbyterian Church, first as a Christian Educator and then as the Associate Pastor for twelve years.
Tara earned a Bachelor of Arts in Religion and Early Elementary Education at Agnes Scott College in Decatur, GA. While at Agnes Scott, she did an independent study in Indonesia for three months, interviewing and researching the Minangkabau Culture, a matrilineal Muslim society. She earned a Masters of Divinity from McCormick Theological Seminary in Chicago, IL. Her focus was on urban ministry and cross-cultural mission. While at McCormick, she served as a short term Young Adult Volunteer in Cape Town, South Africa. There, she worked at the New World Foundation, a local community preschool and adult job training center.
Currently, as a minister member at large, Tara integrates all that she enjoys in called ministry and her local community. She preaches regularly as pulpit supply, serves on several presbytery committees, and as a ministry coach. Tara also works part-time at Funshine Preschool, is a jewelry stylist with Stella&Dot, and volunteers with VOICE, a local community group addressing affordable housing in Arlington, VA. Tara, her husband Kendrick (an engineer) and their two children are avid zoogoers, school volunteers, and movie watchers.